haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
