Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
