Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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