I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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