wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
