Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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