You work out of a Hotel?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
