so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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