just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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