I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
