if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
