Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
