Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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