Who wears a wallet chain?!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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