1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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