he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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