Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
