that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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