lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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