So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I smell stomach acid.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
