Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
