I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy