so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
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the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.