do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was a blind-side dick pic.