well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner