I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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