i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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