It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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