so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
