Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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