Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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