I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
