I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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