So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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