Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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