I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
