i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
