remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
