went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I came so hard my ears popped.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
