It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
