She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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