dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
