I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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