I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
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It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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