Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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