you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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