weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
