I think my fart just growled at me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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