You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize