Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
