Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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