I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
