Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Farmville is her only friend.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
