Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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