actually, I'm a sock model
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
