im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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