how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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