so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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