The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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