I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
