I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize