I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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