why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
