JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Your cock deserves a montage
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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